Reuben A

“Oh no”, Demeter whispered. “Aren’t they the guys from school? The ones that always get themselves drunk?” I don't know how it's from where you come from, but here we ...

Same made sure Karen was in bed before he left Shouldn't it be Sam? Other than I could find nothing wrong with it. And you've got an interesting cliffhanger that ...

Glad I could help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Moira? isn't that the Dwarvish city in the mountains in 'Lord of the Rings'? Here, you skip from third person, to first person, then back again. But, I still really ...

I can't find anything wrong with it...it's great. I really like the me again when the next chapter is ready. Good luck!

Wow...all I can say is...WOW!!

THNX!

Working on it!!:smt024

I agree with Fellow. It's Perfect... Again.

To the person above, it doesn't have to rhyme with anything, its his style. I think the poem worked the way it was written.

Quite frankly, I can't find anything to change in this poem. It's perfect! This time its you who earned a gold star from me.:wink:

Thanks, glad you liked it!!

Thanks!!!

I'll try to decribe more...gold star...YAY!!! :P :P :P

The only thing that caught me in this piece was that you mention your only friend twice. id Dan and the one you killed the same person? I can't wait ...